Sunday, November 29, 2009

Dear Birthmother

It's time to bring back our letters to
our next beautiful birthmother,
wherever and whoever she might be.

Dear Birthmother,

How are you today? We are doing great. We can't wait to meet you. We want you to know we love you. We pray for your courage to strengthen you . We honor and reverence the decision that you are making, as we know that the building of our family means that a great sacrifice has to be made; a sacrifice that you are making. We don't yet know who you are, where you have come from, or what your life plans are but we love you. We know that the biology of our family is made of courage, valiance, and a love that endures. Find us soon. We are looking for you.

The Johnsons

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Mama: Lincoln, the phone is for you

Lincoln: Hello?

Me: Who is it Sweet Boy?

Lincoln: Yes! I have been nice to my brother
and I've been good for my Mama.

Lincoln: I want a transformer.
(apparently the yellow one called Bumblebee)

Lincoln: I love you too, Santa.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A moment in time

I love being a mom.

I always wanted to be a mommy.

When I found out I was pregnant
with Lincoln,
I was ecstatic.
I was in love with this tiny human
that I held close to my heart
for so long.
The first time I held him, I was overcome with emotion.
I knew that a loving Father in Heaven,
had shared a tiny piece of heaven with our family.

When infertility hit,
my desire to be a mom didn't go away.
The desire to be a mother, was known
to the Lord.
Through fasting,
and daily pleading
provided a way.

In fact, in July of 2007,
the desire to fill out adoption paperwork
was so overwhelming,
as the Lord spoke to my heart
as He spoke to David's heart,
and we knew it was time.

When we met Joanie,
we fell in love with her.
She was the Angel Mother
for our Henry boy.
The first time I held Henry,
I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of
the selflessness and sacrifice shown by
our Joanie Girl.

We love her so much, and we pray for her daily, and
thank our Heavenly Father for her ability to love Henry
as much as she does.

that being said,
the time has come again.

to fill out adoption paperwork.

Families are Forever.

p.s. the song I wrote for our beautiful birthmothers is on my right sidebar called,
"It's about Love."

Friday, November 06, 2009

I LOVE Forever

Ever since I met David,
November has had a special place in my heart.
It reminds me of the wonderful time
David and I courted.
the first time he held my hand
the first kiss,
the first I Love You.
the first "not a no-keep going-you are going to love what I have in store for you with this wonderful man" from the Supreme Matchmaker
the first David Roast
(if you haven't had it, you should)
the first invitation to go to his parent's home with him
the first heartache that meant we would be apart at Christmas.

On this particular day, 6 years ago
David told me he could imagine holding me

He hasn't let me down.

In fact,
the same gentle inviting arms have held me through countless
While we were courting, they held me, and we longed for Forever.
In the temple, the day we got married, we held each other and thought about our new
Forever Life;
there was a lot to take in, but forever seemed wonderful.
When we found out we were expecting Lincoln, we hugged with the joy of being Forever parents.
The day we graduated from college we held on to the hope that for forever we would be able to be instruments in the Lord's hands.
When infertility hit, the holding was more frequent and a little tighter, to let me know
that Heavenly Father had promised us forever, and He wouldn't forget us.
The day, we were chosen by our Joanie Girl, we held on tight, and realized the Forever that comes from the Lord's hand, when we have done all we can do.
Today, David held on to me as he said goodbye for work.

On this particular day, 6 years ago
David told me he could imagine holding me

He hasn't let me down.

Here's to an eternity of Forever Holding!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Personal Space.

Having worked many years for
Especially For Youth
you become a little desensitized
to personal space.
Most of your days are spent hip hip hooraying,
regardless of how close your nearest neighbor is.
Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, HEY!
It's. Amazing.

6 years ago in August,
I had finished
14 straight weeks of EFY.
that was 24 hours a day with the awesomeness of youth.


I had come to accept that I had no issues with personal space.
There is comfort to be found in being so close.

Then, it happened.
I met the man of my dreams.
the man for whom I pleaded.
the man for whom I longed.
the man for whom I lived my life righteously.

David Earl.

Suddenly, in his presence, I started to
flush when he was close to me.
it was the time our foreheads were touching.
and I could feel his lips talking to mine.

Too close for comfort.
But not yet close enough, for fulfillment.

you know it must be real, when suddenly you have decide that the
alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, hey of your personal space
is something you want to share
instead of something you just share freely

6 years ago today
something magical happened.
David asked me
how I felt about him.
(I had told him not to kiss me until he was sure he really liked me. and I knew what was coming because he liked me six years plus the day before yesterday ago, and he just wanted to make sure I liked him.)
And of course,

I told him I really liked him.

(what's not to like in a package of ultimate perfection? seriously.)

And then,

He kissed me.

and since that day,

I am eternally grateful to share my
personal space

with him.

I love you David.

Here's to an eternity of kisses and personal space.
(the night before our wedding)