Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Jacob Ladd

We have now had Jacob in our family for 6 weeks.  Our home feels complete for the time being, and the beautiful spirit that accompanies a new baby is present every day. There is something magnificent about a new baby still so connected with heaven
Last year on New Years Eve, my husband and I pleaded once again with the Lord for more children. Through the power of the priesthood, I was promised that in the upcoming year we would be blessed in the way of growing our family. I remember laughing (which I have repented for numerous times) and saying, "Just watch! He is going to make us wait until next December," to which my faithful husband replied, "Well at least He didn't say soon, meaning in this lifetime some time."

We got all of our adoption paperwork done, and our profile went live on my birthday in May. When we put our paperwork in for our first adoption, we were chosen three weeks later, so when three weeks passed, and then 3 months passed, and time kept going, I started to panic. I wanted another baby, and I pleaded countless times for the promise to come to pass.

In the meantime, we presented to a group of birth mothers at an adoption conference and we met Gayla. She and her husband had adopted, but they had also gone to the Czech Republic to do in vitro, and had conceived and had a healthy baby boy. In Vitro in the Czech Republic meands two weeks in Europe, in a hotel, with medications, and the procedure for cheaper than starting costs in America. So, even if it didn't work, who can complain about two weeks in Europe? Mom Johnson bought a ticket to come spend those two weeks with our boys. We were headed to Europe!

At the same time our medications got held up in California by the FDA, who would later destroy or send them back, our social worker Hannah called us.
"Brandi, this is the call you've been waiting for."
In a little disbelief, I kept great control of my emotions. "Really?"
"We have a birth mother who wants to meet you."
At this moment I think,' by the time I get back from the Czech Republic, hopefully pregnant with twins, and she is ready to deliver, she won't choose us because I will be pregnant."
Hannah continued, "She is due in ten days on November 8th. She is having a girl,(hee hee!) and she wants to meet you this Saturday." (it was Wednesday)

I was filled with so much peace. I called David, and we marveled at the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father. We debated going or staying, and finally settled on what Mom Johnson called, "a baby in hand is better than two in the petri dish." So true!

Nicole and Toni came to visit, and the time together was meant to be. The baby started to kick and Nicole said, come here and feel the baby kick. This was a tender moment for me, and I cried at the beauty of life that would soon join our family. Nicole looked at her tummy and said, "This is your new mommy." No words can express the moment that another individual offers you something you can't give yourself.

Nicole later told us that when they left, Hannah offered to give her other profiles to look at, but she declined and said that she already knew what she wanted.

We were able to go to two ultrasound appointments with Nicole before Jacob was born.

In the plan of happiness, as it relates to our family, miracles have never ceased. We have been blessed more abundantly than we could have ever asked for.

We love you Nicole. This year as we watch our big boys open their Christmas presents, we will be holding ours in our arms. We love you Jacob Ladd.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


In our family, each of our boys has taken on a song that we sing to them every night. With Lincoln we chose, "I am a Child of God," at the hospital, and for four years we have used that as a lullaby for him. He knows all the words, and I love that when we needs soothing or comfort, he doesn't first ask for a bandaid, he asks for "Child of God." He knows there is a peace found within a song that teaches of the plan of salvation; the plan we believe brings eternal happiness.
When we had Henry join our family, I could not stop thinking about the blessings of eternal families.
We at the Johnson house have a strong belief that marriage and family does not end at "till death do us part." We believe that a loving Father in heaven wants us to be bound together forever. My name is Brandi, and I am a Mormon. (For more information about eternal families and our beliefs, visit When it was time to have Henry sealed to us, I wept as I listened to the song, "I Love to See the Temple." When it talks about the eternal nature of families, I knew that this was his lullaby. He knows all the words, and it soothes him.

I was originally conflicted on songs when we brought Jacob home, because we will also have him sealed to our family next summer. But, the Lord has gently directed us through the last month. Jacob has added an incredible amount of peace to our family. He is a happy and gentle baby. During this Christmas season, I have held him so often. I am in love with this baby. I am awed at the ability of another brave young woman to make such an instrumental sacrifice, allowing our family to raise Jacob. The last few weeks as I have held him and kissed him, the words to "Silent Night," have run through my mind. I know it is his song. I hope as we sing it and as he learns it, that he too will be soothed by the gentle message of the Savior.

Music has always had a major impact in my life. It has soothed me through my most trying times, and provided peace through the troubled waters. The Lord has softened my hearth through beautiful music.

I am so grateful for the calming power of music. I believe that "music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and make sit whole, flows from heaven to the soul." 

Sleeping in Heavenly Peace 6 hours at a time,