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Sunday, December 14, 2008

To Birthmothers and Birthfathers...

Today, ADOPTION is really on my mind.

I would like to dedicate this post to those young women (and men) who are trying to decide how to proceed with an unexpected pregnancy.

Let me start with a confession.

I love Birthmothers and Birthfathers.
My husband loves you.
My boys love you.
(in fact there are thousands upon thousands of people who love you more than you'll ever know.)

And just in case you ever wonder: You are prayed for.

Every.
Day
.

Now, I cannot even begin to pretend what it would be like at 14, 15, 16 (or any age really) to find out that you are unexpectedly expecting. For some of you, you still have visions of high school football games, music concerts, good grades to achieve, getting into college, PROM, and graduation. For others, you are starting college or working full time. No matter the situation, you are now facing a major decision.

What do you do? How do you cope with this? How do you get the support you need?

Some of you are terrified to tell your parents because they might overreact (they might tell you how disappointed they are by yelling or other such things...they are human too, and this is a whole new experience for them.) Some young women hope and pray that this new life will go away.

but after the yelling
the hoping.
and
the praying,


there is still a new life to be thought about.

What are your options?

This is where I want to express our family's love for adoption and especially our love for our Joanie Girl; our Henry's beautiful Birthmother who was able to make an eternal decision for Henry; and for our family. I remember Joanie telling me that someday she wanted to have a family (a husband and kids), but she knew right now she couldn't provide for a baby. She completely ruled out abortion as an option, as she knew that her pregnancy was the result of her decision to have unprotected sex.

Don't be fooled. Adoption was not an easy decision for Joanie. I know that she cried hundreds of tears during this time. I talked to her many times as she went through the grieving process. Throughout the entire experience, there was one thing she knew for sure; she needed to provide Henry with the best life. Choosing adoption vs. raising a baby was an internal battle that she finally conquered. She set all else aside, and put the needs of someone else first.

From watching her go through this amazing experience two things are undebatable:

First:
Joanie loves Henry. She won't ever stop. And he will always be taught to love the mother who loved him more than she loved herself.

Second:
Adoption allowed her to offer Henry the best life; --a life she knew he deserved; a life she knew she couldn't offer at this time in her life.

As I think about our Joanie Girl, my heart is filled with incredible love that a 17 year old young woman, who got pregnant by a 22 year old truck driver, was able to stand immovable in her decision to choose adoption for baby Henry. She didn't have a lot of support around her,
but she, LIKE YOU, had thousands of people praying for her and other girls in her same situation.

Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to love these precious spirits that you carried next to your hearts. We honor you. We cherish you. We love you.

Adoption; it's about love.

3 comments:

Tina said...

Very Nice Entry Sookie!

I love you all so much - especially my cute little nephews!

Jay and Sherrie said...

Thank you so much! You are such an amazing person with such an amazing heart. Thank you for the example you set for us all.

I hope that your entry helps any and all young people in this situation. It would be a very difficult thing to go through and I think your words give encouragement, love, and hope.

Thanks again! We love you!

Dixie said...

As a birthmother I say thanks. It's nice to hear nice things about adoption and to know we are appreciated. Love ya!