It's About Love...

When I called our Joanie Girl, and told her we were moving to Arizona, her response was so gentle and kind. She said, "Well, that's good, you will be able to take care of the boys." This was followed by silence, and I knew there were tears. We were so grateful that she came to Henry's first birthday party. It was not only a celebration of his first 365 wonderful days on the earth, but it was an emotional celebration of a brave young woman, who made such an eternal sacrifice.

At Henry's party, I wanted to share with my family, my friends, and Joanie the feelings that I have had over the last year.

So, I wrote a song.
(click above)

The first verse (I sing this one) was from my perspective as an adoptive mother; not quite sure what to do or say at first; not sure how to say thank you; feeling like my happiness and her grief were inevitably tied;

but knowing that the Lord could heal.

The second verse (that's my sister-in-law Becky, who created the beautiful alto voice) is from the perspective of a birth mother, speaking to the baby she placed; who someday may wonder why and how she did what she did; and she shares that even through heartache,
the Lord is always there.

Writing this song was a very emotional and a very spiritual experience for me. I felt the Lord's hand in my life as the lyrics and the music flooded my mind. The day that birth mother's verse came to my mind, I sat and bawled as I looked at my boys. My heart was so full of love for a Heavenly Father, who had allowed me to be a mother; not once; but twice, and I am still in awe of the decision Joanie made, and we love her.

My heart has a special place for her filled with reverence, love, and respect.

Let me be perfectly clear, the phrase, "the day that I let go," does not imply that I think birth mothers should place a baby and then say goodbye forever. When David and I started the adoption journey, we were on the end of the spectrum of , "absolutely no contact, we want it closed." But, when we met Joanie, and we heard her story, and we recognized that this young woman had been guided by the Lord to make a selfless decision, we knew that her ability to "let go," just meant that she would be able to give him what he needed by placing him for adoption, and in turn, she would be able to go through a refiner's fire and be purified.

We Love you Joanie Girl.

I love this picture, because Joanie saw that Henry wasn't happy eating cake,

so she came and held a lollipop in his mouth. She stood and held it as long as it made him happy.

Joanie as part of our family.
My mom, Joanie, Henry, Me, Lincoln, David's mom, Grandma

Joanie, Henry, and me.

It's About Love.